Oh the Frustration!

I'm experiencing all kinds of frustration right now... and it's turning me into a pissy bitch.

Yes... a pissy bitch. I've had an incredibly short tempter lately... everything is pissing me right off. My road rage is out of control, of course by road rage I just mean anger toward the other idiots on the road. And without getting too deep into what's bothering me, I'll just say I hate money, I hate food, and I hate being single.

That last one may be a bit of a surprise for those of you who know me, because you know that I'm not one to really care whether or not I'm single... but I kind of hate it right now. Funny thing, though, as much as that's been bothering me lately, I hadn't really discussed it with anyone until today. I talked about it with a friend around the middle of day, and by the end of the night, by a totally unrelated chain of events, I had a date.

Of course I'm not quite sure when the date is yet... but it's been set in motion, which is always nice. And on a completely unrelated subject, I've recently rediscovered pandora.com, a GREAT site for those of you who have not yet experienced it's fantasticness.

Basically you tell it what song or artist type you want more of, and it creates a "station" that plays music by other artists based on your initial input. Then you tell it which songs you like and don't like and though this your station is fine-tuned until it's pretty much playing song after song that you want.

Long story short, I have a bunch of new music that I LOVE but would've never had. Thanks, pandora.com. Thanks a million! I think that's all I have to say for now.

Current Status:
Mood: Tired. It's 5:20am.
Food: Water
Song: "Something That You Said" -The Bangles

Money, Money, Money

Must be funny... in the rich man's world. That's a world I'm not yet a part of, unfortunately.

So for me, as you might have guessed... money is not so funny. In fact I just racked up $300 in overdraft charges. How the hell did that happen, you ask? Let's not talk about it... it's a long story and I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU!!

But seriously... I just shouldn't be able to handle my own finances. You know, I can do really well for a while... then something happens and I fuck myself over. How do I do it? Why does it happen? Questions only God can answer.

That's actually not true... I know the answer perfectly well: no self-control. Yes, it's true, don't act so shocked. I have no self-control whatsoever. And it's not just money... it's pretty much everything. Food, money, relationships... you name it, I'm out of control with it. Yesterday I decided I'm not drinking diet pepsi/coke anymore, because, ask Mo and Stefanie, I've been drinking a crapload of it lately.

Then today I went to the grocery store to buy some cheap microwaveable meals for my lunches (a good move, they were only $1 a piece, and I usually spend $6-8 a day for lunch)... and guess what I did? Bought a fridge pack of diet pepsi. NO SELF-CONTROL. I need help...

Perhaps is psychological? Maybe some kind of self-loathing destructive behavior? If I had self-control and stuck to the things I wanted to do, right now I would be far from overdrafting, have all my credit card debt paid off, and have a six-pack. No, not of soda... abs. Yeah, I'd be hot.

Well as of now I'm doing things differently. No more self-loathing. No more loss of self-control. I make this vow to you, the good readers of the blog. Tomorrow, July 16, 2006, marks a new direction in my life.

And for starters:
I will start my production company in September.
I will pay off my credit cards by October.
And I will have a six-pack by October 31st, so I can go out for Halloween in a sexy outfit and look hot.

You just wait. It's happening.

Current Status:
Mood: PUMPED and determined
Food: Water! No sodas... too bad I have a fridge pack sitting in the kitchen... it's a test!
Song: "Buttons" -Pussycat Dolls