Raptor Attacks, Part Deux

Ahem...

I just re-read my last entry and realized I'm a big nerd. Can I help it? No. That is all.

Raptor Attacks

Stefanie and I, delirious after studying for 6 hours straight, walked around the apartment like velociraptors.

It was great, and looked ridiculous. I don't know if you've ever walked around in your apartment with a friend like velociraptors, but you should do it sometime, because it's quite amusing! Perhaps Stefanie and I will take pictures next time we do it... we didn't take pictures or video this time because, quite simply, after 6 straight hours of studying and hating life, one doesn't look one's best.

Then we started looking up animals in the "raptor" family and were looking at this "utahraptor", which is about 10 feet tall and 20 feet long but still has the ferocious claws of the velociraptor, but larger... much larger. Can you imagine one of those things chasing you around?? Better yet, a pack of them?? SO SCARY!!

In fact, contrary to what Steven Spielberg would have us believe, velociraptors are only 2.5 feet tall. Hmm, quite different from what we saw in Jurassic Park, no? (Speaking of which, did you know they're making Jurassic Park IV?) The one they should've had in the movie is deinonychus... because it was actually the size portrayed in the film.

We've decided it would be fantastic in a horrible way to bring back the utahraptor since it would be completely terrifying. Of course, it's in our human nature to bring back the largest and most dangerous dinosaurs known to man, so that's what we're doing. ANYway, the point of this entry was not a dinosaur education.

The point is, we're lousy students. If you were looking to us for guidance in becoming a successful and productive student... you're in for a real surprise. We're doing okay, however. Stefanie has two tests tomorrow, and I have two huge tests Wednesday. I'm not doing so hot in the two classes at the moment, so I'm a little nervous. But I'm studying hard an I'm going to be attending office hours Monday and Tuesday to make sure I'm on track and such.

Sooo... I think it will be fine, as long as I keep with it. Unless I get a whirlwind of studying done tomorrow, it looks like my Halloween festivities will most certainly be pretty nonexistent. Off to bed for me, I think. To all a good night!

Current Status:
Mood: Wanting a pet raptor... awww
Food: White grape juice
Song: "Moonlight Sonata" -Mozart

Back on Track...?

Life is hell, no doubt. But I'm finally recovering from my month-plus long spiral into a great big pile of shit. Hoorah.

Well I'm sure many of you don't know what's been going on in my life, but it's been a very, very rough month. However!!! Things are starting to get back on track, and maybe I won't fail at life, after all. I just finished three papers on time and I'm spending this entire weekend studying for two exams I have this coming Wednesday. This entire weekend, you say? Yes. Which means, since I've been incredibly busy try to catch up on schoolwork, I have had absolutely NO time to get anything in order for Halloween.

Ergo, I will not be going out on Halloween... not only do I not have a costume but I don't have time. I HAVE to make A's on these exams or I'm royally screwed. So, while you're all out having a blissful time wandering the planet in your ghastly getup, make sure to have a pity party for me, because I will surely be at my apartment, studying. I hate it. I hate it a lot.

In fact, I've already missed two parties because of this whole "college" thing... AND I had to say 'no' to friends when they wanted to go out this past week. You thought I was going to say drugs instead of friends, didn't you... idiot. I always say no to drugs! You're a moron! I'm sorry... I'm just taking things out on you... I didn't really mean it.

OH, that's the picture of the awsomely strange KFC I was referring to in my previous post. Is it not funky? Don't you lie... God is watching. You know it's great. Oh and this other picture is a bike in a tree. I just thought it was amusing and I figured you'd all enjoy it as well.

Furthermore, Stefanie and I, in the spirit of studying and being good students, were falling off my bed in curious ways last night, and I took two videos of us doing it to help you all understand just how funny it was. (STEFANIE'S VIDEO) (JUSTIN'S VIDEO) Now, these videos were taken tonight, so they don't deliver the original hilarity that was involved, but they get the message across. Imagining that we're falling off a cliff to our deaths makes the videos that much more enjoyable, though the live show is much better. I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoy avocado on my sandwiches.

Can I just take a minute right now to praise the existence of avocados please? I mean, let's be honest... if you don't like avocados, you're not human. And if you are human then you're obviously dead, and I think you should just walk into the light right now and stop wasting our time. But really, they make sandwiches fifty bazillion times better, it's unbelievable! If you haven't tried it yet, give it a whirl, and let me know how it works out for you.

Current Status:
Mood: Dreaming of avocados
Food: Any sandwich with avocado in it
Song: "I heart avocados" -The Avocado Worshippers

I'm on apple.com!!!

So I'm sure if you read my entry from Saturday you know I made a widget... well now it's on Apple's website!!

I'm such a nerd, I know... it's just really weird and exciting to A) make a widget... I don't know why but it is and B) have it posted on Apple's website. Yeah, yeah... any shmuck with some html skillz can do it... but I did it! And that's important. So I encourage you ALL to check it out, even if you don't have OS X 10.4 and can't download it... and EVEN if you have a PC. The thrill here is not just being able to download and use it... it's to see it online and the fact that you CAN download it. Anyway, enough about that (this is a screenshot of it on apple.com by the way). CLICK HERE to see it...

Stefanie and I are going to do a podcast show, and I'm really excited about it. We've already done a "pilot" episode, if you will... but we're not going to air that, we just wanted to see what it would be like. And, although we think the pilot is "unairable"... we enjoyed it thoroughly. Therefore... prepare for the launch of our podcast show! I'm not telling you when it will happen, so just be prepared, because it's coming. That's all I have to say at the moment... have a great day!

Current Status:
Mood: Thrilled
Food: Strawberry Breakfast Bar!
Song: "Faded" -Soul Decision

Down with UPS

I don't think I've ever felt passionate enough about parcel companies to prefer one over the other... but I suppose there's a first time for everything, right?

So my phone decided to be a piece of shit - I was answering my phone and people couldn't hear me, or wouldn't be able to make calls even when I had a full signal, among other things - but since my phone was still under the year warranty (thank god), T-Mobile decided they would send me another phone, which is sad... I love my phone... goodbye moto :( Of course they don't make my phone anymore (moto v600) so they sent me a different one (down below), but it does the same wonderful things so it's fine. I digress.

So I come home last Wednesday to a package slip on the door of my apartment saying that UPS tried to deliver the package but I wasn't here, and they would try again on Thursday between 2-5PM. Wonderful. So the next day I happen to be home until 3PM... UPS hasn't come, so I ask Stefanie to keep an ear out for them since she was going to be in the apt. until right at 5 when she had to leave for class. I come home to another package slip, saying they missed me again and would deliver it Friday after 5PM. Stefanie comes home and I ask how long she was here, she says she was here until 4:55PM and no one came.

Something tells me they didn't come in those last five minutes before 5, so I call them to find out when exactly they tried delivering it... turns out to be about 6:40PM. Way to be on schedule, UPS... thanks for that. So after the automated phone system informs me they're unreliable assholes, it tells me they will deliver Friday after 5PM and asks if this is okay, to which I reply NO. I want to pick up my fucking package on my own time rather than deal with some asshole who can't seem to read clocks.

Then it says, the next time you will be able to pick it up is Monday, which is ridiculous because that's three extra days of waiting. Then it asks if this is ok, and I say no, and it asks what I would like to do and gives me a bunch of options... and I say something to the effect of "nevermind/cancel this phone call/whatever" and it says, "Okay, return to sender. What is the reason for the return?" Of course I am displeased but scared of saying anything because I may inadvertently tell them to give my package to Goodwill.

Then I remember they said to say "Go back" to return to a previous menu. So after a series of "go backs" I return to the main question of "is the post-5PM Friday delivery okay?" and of course I say yes... besides I'm done with class at 2... I'll definitely be around, unless "after 5PM" means "between Friday 5PM and Monday". SO, I come home Friday after school... no package slip on the door yet. I leave a post-it on the door saying if I don't answer the doorbell to either call me or come in because I AM home.

Well I fall asleep... not a shock to those of you who know me... and Stefanie comes home around 9PM. Of course I was upset that I didn't wake up for the UPS man, but then realize there is no package slip on the door. How interesting. After wondering why no one had come, I call the UPS system which informs me they attempted to deliver the package at 7:11PM. So what the hell was going on?! Well, I went downstairs to find that THIS time, the day I was actually home and prepared to sign for a package from UPS, is the one day the fucker couldn't get into the building and ring my doorbell. So there was a lovely FINAL ATTEMPT notice on my mailbox, courtesy of UPS. I also find a FedEx slip for me... yay for two unclaimed packages!

Well of course they're closed on the weekend, so Monday morning I drive to the middle of nowhere to some warehouse to get my package. After driving around for a while trying to find the customer entrance, I go inside and hand the man my slip, who then walks off into the other room without saying a word... I assume to get my package but who the hell knows. TEN MINUTES later he comes back with my package and asks to see my ID.

Then the greatest part of the story happens. After he asks for an ID with a matching address (which I don't have b/c I just moved), he covers the information on the box and gives me a little quiz. "What's your phone number?" "Um, ###-###-####" I say... "I have a different one on this package." "Well, that's my phone number." I could obviously start guessing other numbers, like my Mom's, but I don't fucking give a shit and this asshole is pissing me off. "I have a ###-###-####" "Yeah, that's my mom's number" Then he gives me a lecture about how I need to have a government-issued ID with my current address because next time they're not going to release the package to me. I'm just like fine, I take the package and get the fuck out of there.

This is my rant to him:
First of all... how you know that I haven't come there a million times before with that ID and gotten packages? Hmm? Second... who the hell are you to give me a lecture about not having an ID with a proper address. I just moved into my apartment and there's actually NO possible way I could have a current ID this soon after moving. Third, shut up. Fourth, you don't know me! How do you know I'm not visiting a friend and have destroyed my phone and having it shipped out here? GO FUCK YOURSELF! And have a nice day!

Later that day I went to FedEx to get my package from them. They checked my ID... said "thank you"... and gave me my package.

Current Status:
Mood: Mildly irritated. I was PISSED on Monday though.
Food: Honey Bunches of Oats
Song: "Goodbye" -Natalie Imbruglia, again. I LOVE this song.

I MADE A WIDGET!!!

I know some of you will not know or not care what I'm talking about, but I'm SO excited!

Well as some of you may or may not know, the newest version of Mac OS X has Widgets that you can access... and I'm not going to explain all about widgets, because they're fairly simple, can be used for about anything, and you can read about them somewhere else (like here). Anywho, I MADE A WIDGET!!! I think it's a freakin' amazing feat, of course it was really, really easy to do... so I shouldn't feel that special.

This is what the widget looks like (shrunk down a tiny bit here), and it basically provides an RSS feed of the last 15 entries on my blog. Down below is an actual screen shot of what it looks like on the screen. SO, you don't even have to come to the website to see if I've written anything new anymore... you can just look at your widget! That is, of course, if you have OS X 10.4 or better. Sorry PC users... you'll just have to get a Mac. As soon as I created this bad boy, I submitted it to apple.com's listing of widgets, so it should be available for EVERYONE to download in 3-5 business days, however you can get it RIGHT NOW using the link on the RIGHT SIDE OF THE PAGE (under "Quick Links").

I don't think anyone quite understands how giddy and ridiculously happy I am about this... so please forgive my childish excitement. Also, after I finished version 1.0 and submitted it to Apple's site... I started working on version 1.1!!! What does that entail? I guess you'll just have to wait and see. ;) But it is finished, I'm just going to make everyone wait a little bit. In fact, after I finished 1.1... I started on version 1.2!!! I'M OUT OF CONTROL!! There's not a HUGE different between 1.1 and 1.2... yet... but, yeah you'll see when I release them. Muahahaha!!! This is so much fun!!! Okay that's all for now.

Current Status:
Mood: Deliriously Giddy!
Food: Anything with caffeine! I've been up all night coding! Oh God I just realized how sad that sounds...
Song: "Goodbye" -Natalie Imbruglia

The Devil Inside - Addendum

My female coworkers had a few things so say about the creepy baby picture in my last blog.

So my boss happened to see the picture of the creepy baby in the womb today when she passed by my computer and said, "OHH! That's so cute! Where did you get that picture?" To which I responded, "WHAT?! That's creepy and disgusting!" We argued about it, comedically of course, and my coworker Marie chimed in and agreed with my boss, and they both insisted I send them the "beautiful picture". They then went on to explain that there's nothing like having a baby growing inside you, that it's one of life's miracles and one of the greatest things of a woman's life.

They then went on to tell me about how it feels when the baby moves and your whole stomach shifts to the side, or when the baby flips upside down near the end of the pregnancy. And also how painful it is when the baby is upside down and starts kicking and pushing on your ribs. Then they shared stories about how Marie lost her water sack one night in the shower and was forced into labor, and my boss (Socorro) told how her first-born didn't flip and the doctors had to push the baby around in her stomach to flip him manually, leaving bruises on her stomach. Marie said that when her second-born didn't flip by himself, they actually reached up into the womb through her vagina and flipped him.

Then they told me about how painful it is when giving birth, how it feels like your skin is going to rip apart, and that one of Marie's friends skin ripped between her "two holes" and it had to be sewn up. And apparently, if you take your two hands and put your index fingers together and your thumbs together and push really hard, that's kind of what it feels like when your skin is being stretched.

Then I ate a Sausage Egg McMuffin. Yum.

Current Status:
Mood: Grossed out
Food: Sausage Egg McMuffin, which I'm tempted to throw up after these stories.
Song: Anything related to suicide

The Devil Inside

A baby inside a woman can be awfully frightening.

So I was browsing one of my friend's profiles on myspace.com today (a site which I may have mentioned I am totally addicted to), and saw a horribly disturbing picture that someone left in the comment section of her profile. It's truly one of the freakiest things I've ever seen in my life. Yes, it's natural... yes, it's the beauty of the life inside. Blah blah blah speak for yourself. It's sick and gross, okay? I am nowhere near the point in my life when I'm prepared to appreciate this image in any respect. In fact, it reminds me of a poster for a movie that came out a while back, called The Frighteners. Anyone remember that? I mean, look at the pictures, people... notice a resemblance?

Maybe the filmmakers were trying to say something? I'm sorry for using this image of the Frighteners poster, because it sure doesn't deserve the text "CineMasterpieces" underneath... but this is the best looking one that I found... it really brought out the gross face in the middle, which is the point here. Speaking of weird... did you know Frighteners was a Peter Jackson film? Yes that's right... Peter Jackson, as in "Hi I directed Lord of the Rings" Peter Jackson.

Anyway, I thought I would share these incredibly disturbing pictures with the world along with that random bit of trivia, so enjoy. On a different note, the director of USCard said that if I needed something to do in between when I graduate and when I find a job in my field, she will hire me on as a temporary full-time employee. SO, I basically have a solid backup job for my post-graduation livelihood.

Now whenever anyone in my family asks what I'm going to be doing when I graduate I can say, "I don't know but I have an interim job offer so SHUT YOUR FACE!" Of course, that won't go over too well, so I'll make sure to say something a little less offensive... but you get the idea. Alright, I think that's all for tonight... I don't see the need to write about anything else!!!

Current Status:
Mood: Meh
Food: Water. Just... just water.
Song: "Devil Inside (remix)" -Hikaru Utada

Monster Thighs

And no, I'm not talking about fried chicken.

Speaking of fried chicken, I saw the most amazing KFC today... it was ridiculous. I was actually driving down Western to get to the nearest Wells Fargo to my new apartment, and as I turned one corner, I saw the most insanely cool KFC location I've ever seen in my life. It actually made me want to eat there constantly. I will take a picture of it and post it sometime soon because you have to see it to believe it. It almost looks like it used to be a cool Blockbuster that was converted into a KFC... but that would be quite a strange converstion, so I'm not sure that's what happened. Anyway, the point is: really cool KFC.

Back to the main topic... I have got to start working out again. I haven't done anything athletic in so long that I'm starting to forget how to run. So, any takers? I know that my roommate wants to start working out again, and we plan on working out together. But we often have conflicting schedules for such activity, so I'm going to need other people to work out with if I'm going to actually make a dent in these monster thighs of mine.

Moving on, you may be wondering why I'm typing this at nearly 5AM in the morning... and that's quite simply because I'm pulling an all-nighter. I have a test today at 2PM and I have all these online lecture pieces of shit that I haven't been able to view yet. SO... I decided to truck on down to campus and park my ass in the library at 2AM and watch video lectures and read and study until I have to go to work at 10.

So far it's been a relatively successful all-nighter... but I've only been here for about two hours so far, or something like that. Who's counting, anyway? And I've come prepared with four Red Bulls... one of which is already consumed, along with half of another. Don't tell the desk clerks though... I'm not supposed to have any drinks in here. Oops! The only problem is I'm starting to get tired already, despite the fact that I've had 1.5 Red Bulls so far. And it's weird because I slept in today until 2PM... so I haven't been up THAT long... it's only been 15 hours. I've been up much longer than that without getting tired, so what the hell is going on? Seriously... if anyone would like to suggest a solution I would love to hear it. Of course I'm sure it won't come soon enough since I need answers NOW. But I'll keep any suggestions in mind for the future... though hopefully I won't be finding myself in this situation very often from now on.

Okay, well I guess I should go... this entry has distracted me long enough. I think I'll probably nap sometime soon, because I'm yawning like the dickens. We'll see...

Current Status:
Mood: Tired
Food: Red Bulls! Four of them.
Song: Nothing, unless video lectures count

Hilarity All Around

I think today, except for a few things, has been one of the funniest days ever.

Of course that statement applies mostly to my afternoon because that's when the funny things began to happen. It started with this story from my friend Diane online, accompanied by a picture:

Diane: so i came home during my lunch break like i often do and i see this package sitting in front of my door from my mom and i take a look at it and notice one of those customs decleration thingys, you know what that is right?
Diane: i'll take your silence as a hell yes, so i look at it wondering why my mom would need one of those when she's just sending me a regular package... (oh i'll send a picture when i'm done relaying the story) so on the slip it says, 1 hat, 6 puppets
Diane: and i start wondering why has my mom sent me a hat and 6 puppets, of all the things in the world, i didn't think she was sending me puppets or a hat for that matter, so i open it up and it ends up being a shirt and a letter, no hat, certainly no puppets
Diane: so later i called her on my way home from work and i asked her why she filled out the form that way
Diane: and she's like i didn't what are you talking about, i said on the package i got today from you it said 1 hat, 6 puppets and i was really surprised when neither was inside, and she just lost, she started laughing hysterical and then we started wondering how they could've arrived at 6 puppets and a hat, maybe that's the protocol when someone doesn't specify what's in their package, or it's so frequent they're just like, we got another 6 puppets and a hat
Diane: or they x-rayd it and the guys are sitting around the x-ray machine going, that's definitely a hat, ok maybe it's a puppet, my vote is 4 puppets and 3 hats
Diane: we were both just laughing hysterically

Of course I was talking to my roommate, Stefanie about this later and as we were laughing I asked, "What would you do if you got a hat and six puppets in the mail?" to which she calmly replied, "Well, it depends on the hat... but I wouldn't care much for the puppets." I suppose it's one of those situations where you had to be there, but it was damn funny, especially after a night of taking pictures of ourselves.

Stefanie has some stupid project due on Friday for which she needs pictures of her and one with a friend for some kind of pointless journal that she and I both agree is completely uneducational for anyone past the 5th grade. Anywho, we began taking picture after picture in a somewhat addicted fashion, the end result of which was a mixture of great and horrible pictures. Below are some of our favorites. I don't know where our inspiration came from... but we were definitely inspired.

Later, we were talking about the movie Team America, which I have yet to see. And I mentioned the fact that I was unsure if I would like it because it was puppets (hmm sensing a theme?). And she said that was part of the humor, especially how they would walk around, like when they get out of a chair and walk. And while she told me this, she demonstrated it in what I can honestly say is one of the funniest moments of my life... watching her mock a puppet getting out of a chair and walking around is the last thing I want to see before I die, because it was absolutely fucking hysterical. And that about sums up my hilarious afternoon. Whew... I'm tired from laughing. Anyway, I hope everyone else's day was as enjoyable.

This is me giving Stefanie a bouquet of fake flowers stuck in a green foam block. Awww.

Here we see a car about to hit our unsuspecting photographer. We're too stunned to do anything about it.

Here the car has hit our photographer right as our picture was taken. Blood was everywhere. What a disaster.

Stefanie is pointing out a small tear in one of the pages of her book. I, of course, am prepared with the Scotch tape.

Here I am erasing something horrible from the notebook, something that has shocked Stefanie to her very core. However it looks as if I've been possessed and lost control and am attacking the notebook and Stefanie is stunned with horror.

This one's pretty obvious... we're hot models. Duh.

This is our imitation of famous actors on the red carpet waiving and laughing to their fans and photographers. I think we pull it off nicely.

Current Status:
Mood: Tired from laughing
Food: Nothing, I'm a model.
Song: "Get Gone" -Fiona Apple

The New Pad

Found a new place. We're all moved in. Stefanie and I love it!

I moved in last Thursday and started unpacking, and Stefanie moved in Sunday and we've been fixing and arranging things ever since. This is actually the most responsive management I've ever dealt with. Even at USC they took a little long to get around to coming to the apartment to fix things. Not a lot, just slightly longer...

Anyway, these pics are from Sunday night, when Stefanie had just moved in, and the place is understandably a mess. It's actually cleaned up quite a bit since then, but we're still working on it since we both go to school and work in addition to just having moved in.

So I hope you all get the chance to come by and visit the place sometime... only if you're special enough, of course, because we don't want just anybody comin' around our brand new home sweet home. Anyway that's all I have to say for now. There's so much going on that I don't even want to get into... I guess you'll just have to actually talk to me to hear about it.

This is the view of the kitchen from our living room.

This is the hallway leading down to our bedrooms - mine is on the right.

This is our lovely kitchen, up close and personal.

This is a close up shot of our bedroom doorways - Stef's is on the left/center, mine is on the right.

This is actually a shot of my closet and bathroom area from inside my room.

Current Status:
Mood: Schizophrenically disorganized
Food: Burrito from La Salsa... aww dinner with Mauro and Wick :)
Song: "Carrion" -Fiona Apple