Hector is a Shithead!

Haha, not really... but he could be!!! Grrr!

He turned to me today and said, "Oh my God you know how you were talking about the Pepsi/iTunes thing? We can't play because there's no pepsi here anymore!" I was in shock... because not only did I think he was referring to my entry a couple days ago on the matter, which means he didn't pay attention when reading, or he obviously doesn't listen to me when I talk because I wouldn't talk about the Pepsi/iTunes free music giveaway without mentioning the fact that Pepsi is no longer sold on our campus and so we can't play. WHOA that was a long sentence.

Furthermore, not only that, but when I said, "Didn't you read my blog about it?" he replied with, "Ugh... I don't read people's blogs... people aren't important enough." Anyway... I think we should all kill him because of this. But not immediately... it should be a slow death. So, when you see Hector, feel free to punch or kick him... or of course induce any injury you deem appropriate or necessary. Eventually, after numerous blows... he'll be dead, and we'll have won. Have a nice day!

Current Status:
Mood: Vengeful
Food: Sprite
Song: "If I Were A Rich Girl" -Gwen Stefani

How Now Brown Cow?

So I just saw the trailer for The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and I really liked it.

Now, I'm not talking about the teaser, folks... I mean the actual trailer. I thought it was great... it's obviously a comedy, and the film clearly reflects that. I think what I'm so impressed is the fact that everything in it looks so imaginative. It reminds me very much of a Luc Besson film, The Fifth Element, in particular. But besides that, I'm very anxious to see the film, and I think you should all take a good look at the trailer.

Apparently, Hitchhiker's is the debut film of director Garth Jennings.... which I think is quite impressive. I haven't researched Sir Garth very much, but if it is really his first film... I applaud his success, because I think this film is going to do quite well. Anyway, watch the trailer, enjoy... and tell me how much you love or hate it.

Current Status:
Mood: Overworked
Food: None
Song: "Chick Habit" -April March

Coca-Cola is Fucking Me Over

Last year I was able to play the Pepsi iTunes game anytime I wanted... those days are over.

Once again Pepsi and Apple are collaborating and giving away a free song from iTunes in 1 of every 3 bottles of Pepsi. Last year I was able to play this exhilerating game of "drink & win" any day I wanted, as Pepsi products were bountiful around USC's campus.

But now, Coca-Cola, with it's brilliant new contract with USC, has fucked over any chance of me drinking soda for free music on campus. And it's not like I go off campus regularly for the purpose of buying soda... because I don't really drink that much soday anyway.

The only time I get excited about drinking it, IS DURING THE PEPSI/ITUNES FREE MUSIC GIVEAWAY!!! So thanks, Coca-Cola, for being a monstrous overbearing corporate shithead. I now have nothing to look forward to when I drink soda... and that just makes my life a little sadder.

Is it pathetic I'm this upset about not having the opportunity to win free music when I drink a carbonated beverage? Is it sad that I made an entire blog entry devoted to this slightly OCD subject? Absofuckinglutely! But guess who doesn't give a shit...

Current Status:
Mood: PISSED!
Food: Diet Fucking Coke (w/ Lime)
Song: "Phoebe Remix" -Justin Porter

Inland Empire

Pretentious. Cheap. Excess money. These are a few things that come up when the Inland Empire is mentioned.

Hector and I, on our way to a sexy party in Palm Springs when the controversial subject of the Inland Empire came up. Apparently, the bad reputation of the people of the Inland Empire is common knowledge... but I've never head anything about it. So, naturally this topic piqued my interest.

Apparently, people from the Inland Empire are basically the equivalent of white trash. Of course... I guess here's that's just California trash. Who knows... but the point is... I've never ever heard of this phenomenon. So I want everyone else who hasn't heard about this to test it out. Talk to people about the Inland Empire and see what they say.

Anyway, at first when Hector was explaining exactly what was so detestable about Inland Empire folk, I had no idea what he meant. I don't even think he could articulate a description that was understandable. I guess it's like trying to explain what nuget is. You know what I mean... be honest. Have you ever tried to explain nuget to someone?

Basically, a nuget explanation goes something like, "It's like... chewy... and fluffy... no, more like, creamy... and it's whitish... and, it tastes like... um... OH GOD HERE!" and you shove a Milky Way bar in their hand and force them to take a bite. So yes... you basically need to shove an Inland Empire resident in someone's face to really explain it, something Hector did not have at his disposal. So... I remained curious for a couple days.

Then, we were talking about this guy... we'll call him "Zoidberg". And suddenly, Hector says, "Oh! "Zoidberg" is from Inland Empire." AH! The light clicked on, and I was instantly enlightened. I now understand the connotations of the Inland Empire... and I think you all should take it upon yourselves to learn them also.

Current Status:
Mood: Enlightened
Food: #13 w/ out bacon from Carl's Jr. -- omg it's so good!
Song: "This is the World We Live In" -Alcazar

Red vs. Green

Some of you have asked me, "Justin... what the hell is Green Mars and Red Mars on your blogs...?" Well here's the answer.

Basically the distinction between Green Mars and Red Mars comes down to two very basic moods... positive and negative. If I'm not in a very good mood when I write the blog... it's a Red Mars entry. If I'm in a good mood, it's a Green Mars entry... get it? Now that doesn't mean I'm bipolar and only have two moods for writing blogs... it also has to do with the content of the blog.

A Green Mars blog is going to be more friendly... more of an exposé... while the Red Mars is probably going to be me bitching about something or discussing an unpleasant subject. So, I'm not necessarily in a bad mood if I write a Red Mars entry, because it could just be the subject matter that makes it so. So... where do the terms Green and Red Mars come from? Well I'm glad you asked, my inquisitive friend.

They are actually the titles of two books in the Mars Trilogy by Kim Stanley Robinson. That's a horrendously ugly site and I apologize for linking to it... but it serves its purpose. The two colors basically represent two different stages of Mars colonization in the trilogy... and so I thought I would just use them as my two defining categories for my infinitely fascinating blog.

Hurrah! You finally know the secret of my blog! Well... almost... no one's asked why it's called The Banana Chronicles. And no one's really asked about the strange "moods" I put in my current status. I mean... some of those aren't moods, technically... and yet you all just accept it. You're all sheep!!! SHEEP I SAY!!! Meh!

Current Status:
Mood: Exhausted
Food: Water
Song: "I Believe In You" -Kylie Minogue

Site Updates!!!

If you haven't noticed... there's been some changes on the site.

While some are purely aesthetic, some are actually functional... and both take time. I've even been so distracted that I've written unfinished blogs and posted them, like the Supermodels and Christmas ones. But have no fear!! All will be fixed and hopefully I can get all the damn areas of this site up and working. Of course, it's only me working on this, and while many think I have limitless quantities of time at my disposal... that is not the case... even though I went out and partied last night and it was a Tuesday. BUT... that's beside the point.

So yes, please be patient with my site... I know it's coming along slowly, but at least it's coming at all and not exploding in your face, because that would just be painful. ALSO... you may have noticed the ability to comment on my blogs! It's a new feature, yes... and I encourage you all to do it!!! Just click the link that says "Comment" and leave me a beautiful comment on a blog or blogs of your choice. Anyway, I'm really excited about the changes, as small as they are... because it's something new and I love upgrading my site! Thanks for listening... have a spectacular day!

And one more thing... I think you should all go to this link because it's spectacular and makes me feel good about myself.

Current Status:
Mood: Anxious
Food: BBQ Chicken Calzone
Song: "Let Me Entertain You" -Robbie Williams

Supermodels of Hawaii

The Hawaiian Supermodel party was fantastic... and now I'm off to Vegas!

Having numerous people come up to me and tell me they didn't know how we were going to top the amazingly successful Supermodel party in the summer, but we did and by a lot... should be proof that our party was a success. Of course the night was not just dancing, drinking, and photo-shooting merriment... there was also our version of supermodel drama. Other events of the night included our shithead neighbor coming over and telling us, at 1AM on a Friday night, that we were too loud and he and his roommate couldn't sleep.