The Power of Silence

I talked to my grandparents today... at least they didn't make me cry this time.

So my grandparents called me today because my dad got another letter from the LA Parking Violations Bureau, and of course, instead of talking to me about it, he sent them his rants and had them call me. Let's see... I haven't talked to my dad since May 30. Not a single word over the phone or in person, and the only written communications from him that I've gotten have been 5-word or less replies to my two emails to him. I think it's a family thing... I mean, at one point I think my aunt and grandmother didn't talk for a year because someone got upset at the other. And I know my dad stopped being friends with our neighbor because he sprayed weed killer on our lawn and it accidentally ended up killing our grass... what an asshole. Not that I'm saying I hate my family... just that communication issues run in the family. I don't even really know what he's mad about.

If I went for the reason that apparently started this whole thing, it would be because I wasn't at my apartment on May 28 when he decided to come pick me up without telling me he was even going to or specifying a time... not completely my fault. Of course that's not a reason to cut off contact with your son... so the next reason I would say is because of the parking tickets that I've gotten. Well let's see... disowning a son because of 15 parking tickets? I think that's a little ridiculous. Being angry and yelling at your son because of 15 parking tickets, maybe even punishing him somehow? Yes. Punishment by not talking for a couple months? No.

It's stupid, really, and as hurt and upset as I am... I guess I shouldn't be surprised. My dad's always been a little rash... and after all, I'm not even his favorite. Heaven forbid I should still consider/want my mother to be a part of my life after she divorced him and despite the fact that he hates her. So maybe this is just a way to build up reasons to get me out of his life, the last "straw-breaking" reason being the parking tickets. OH GOD THE DRAMA. Bullshit, really... and I'm done with it.

Current Status:
Mood: Lonely
Food: None
Song: "30 Minutes" -t.A.T.u.

Back in the Working Force

So I finally started my job at USCard on Friday... today will be my second day!

I can't wait!!! First of all, I'm so glad that I finally got to work... it made me feel like my time was actually worth something and I was being put to good use... I mean, really. Second, I had SO much fun there... the people there are great, quite nice & chill... especially the bosses, which is mighty important. If my bosses were bitches then the job sure wouldn't be much fun, unless of course I could poison them slowly by adding small amounts of Liquid Plumber in their drinks each day. Ahem... I mean... never.

So yes, got my job going... and I've also got the magazine going again, which makes me happier than paper mache covered balloons... and I can't even begin to explain that one. Did you ever do that in... elementary school... or in my case high school? Ha... not really... but yes I remember blowing up balloons and covering them with paper mache-formulated newspaper pieces. I don't know what the point was... I guess we just ended up with paper mache balloons that we could pretend were balloon fossils. Of course that's not possible... haha... balloon fossils... OH PALEONTOLOGY... what will you invalidate next?

We also used to take the sticks of ink out of markers and stick them in our Elmer's glue, therefore of course creating colored glue. We were WAY ahead of our time, apparently, because no one else I've mentioned that to ever did that in elementary school, and a couple years after we were doing that, ol' Elmer came out with some colored glue of his own. That bastard... of course his glue was neon colors... which we couldn't make with our standard sets of district-mandated Crayola markers... ELMER YOU CUNNING BITCH! So naturally we were forced to buy the excessively neon glue, giving Elmer his damn profits and causing premature blindness throughout the entire school. Yay blind us!

Also, when you were in elementary school did you clean your desks with shaving cream at the end of the year? We did... it was the best thing EVER. It was a way for the teacher to have the kids clean the desk so she wouldn't have to, and it was entertainment for us of course, because, let's be honest... who doesn't enjoy playing with shaving cream on a desk? Exactly. Well that's all for now... I have to be at work soon... 11-12:30 working for Apple then 1-5 at USCard!

Current Status:
Mood: Nostalgic
Food: Maple & Brown Sugar Oatmeal
Song: "In The Middle" -Sugababes

I am Winter! Oh... and Happy 4th of July!

According to highly technical and completely accurate quizzes... I am the season of Winter!

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY EVERYONE!!!

You're most like the season Winter... you're often depicted as the cold, distant season. But you're incredibly intelligent, mature and independent. You have an air of power around you, and that can sometimes scare people off. You're complex, and get hurt easily, so you rarely let people in if you can help it. You can be somewhat of a loner, but just as easily you could be the leader of many. You tend to be negative, and hard to relate to, but you give off a relaxed image despite being insecure, and secretly many people long to be like you, not knowing how deep the Winter season really is. Well done... you're the most inspirational of seasons :)

Which season are you??

Current Status:
Mood: Patriotic
Food: Pineapple Chunks
Song: "The World Is Not Enough" -Garbage

Sleep Is Overrated, Anyway

So once again... I can't get to sleep. It's now 8am.

This has been going on for a while now... and I think it comes from the fact that I don't have a job. It's like I really don't have anything to go to bed for... because there's nothing to wake up for. And also my mind just wanders like crazy and I can't get myself to settle down enough to go to sleep. Last night I managed to get to bed before 5am... even though the night before I was awake until noon. Today doesn't seem to be much better... it's 8am and I'm still going strong. I swear if I don't start my job soon I'm going to kill someone, mostly likely myself. I'm talking about my job with USCard, of course. I was hired two weeks ago... but because of delays and the fact that they had me fill out the wrong W4... I haven't been able to start working yet, even though I have the job.

I have been able to do work for Apple, though... so that's kept me relatively sane. It's only a little work so far, but it's better than nothing. I feel like my time is worthless... ugh I just can't bring myself to do anything constructive. I can't concentrate or focus, I don't really have a drive to do anything, and when I get a drive, it's shot down by the fact that I can't concentrate. I'm anxious about something... a nervous wreck. I really don't know what the hell is going on, but I'm pretty sure Limecat feels me... as he doesn't look like he's sleeping well either.


That's all I can really say in a coherent fashion... everything else is racing through my head so fast that I can't focus on one thing long enough to type it. I'm working on movie... that's one thing I can say. So hopefully I'll be writing more about that in weeks to come.

Current Status:
Mood: Uneasy
Food: Peanut M&M's
Song: "The Autumn Leaves" -ATB